"Would
You Like To Get
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"Now
they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty
violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with
a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest
problem.Maybe you should get rid of the body before you
do the wash."
-- Jerry Seinfeld. |
A quote junkie, that is.
For as long as I can remember, I've been collecting quotes dealing with anything and everything (my shrink says it's a little obsessive... but that's another story).
And for a quote to hit my "private files", it needs to either lift me up...or make me wet myself.
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"I
once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of
childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain
is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught
in a zipper."
-- Emo Philips. |
Usually I'll send quotes to my friends or family, and they end up begging for more.
The thing is, I got tired of constantly sending a funny quote here, a goofy quote there. It got to be a pain. So that's why...
My Funny Quote Obsession is Your Reward
Instead of having people bug me to send them more quotes, or share my private files, I decided to start up a little quote newsletter.
Each week, on Monday, Wednesday and Friday, I'll blast out a funny quote or funny quotation to anyone who wants it...for FREE.
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"You
know when you put a stick in water and it looks bent? That's
why I never take baths."
-- Steven Wright. |
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"Whatever
women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought
half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult."
-- Charlotte Whitton. |
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"She
looked as if she'd been poured into her clothes and had
forgotten to say 'when'."
-- PG Wodehouse. |
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"I
don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report
the facts."
-- Will Rogers. |
Nothing fancy. Nothing complicated. Just good old funny, humorous quotes...guaranteed to bring a smile to your face in 30 seconds or less.
Imagine...you can get FREE funny quotes and quotations delivered to you every morning. What a great way to start off the work day...with a smile!
PLUS! Win A Free Book of Quotes!
PLUS! You'll get entered into a monthly drawing for a FREE pocket book of great quotes mailed directly to you! (I told you - I love quotes and sharing them!).
AND if you refer friends and they visit, you'll get extra entries for each friend who visits! There's no limit on how many people you can refer. The more you send over...the greater the chance of winning!
So don't wait another moment. Simply fill out the little form below and you'll bring a smile to your face in the next 10 seconds - guaranteed!
With Smiles and Laughs,
Chris
Zavadowski
FunnyQuotesAndQuotations.com
P.S. -- Now keep in mind, you should probably be an adult for the free quotes I'm sending out (don't worry, nothing too naughty though. I just don't want a little kid getting offended...or using my quotes to "enhance" their vocabulary.).
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"The
statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans
are suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of
your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you."
-- Rita Mae Brown. |
| © Copyright 2004, Lifetime Marketing Success, Inc. |